Dear Will,

Today you are two months old, baby boy! Time with you has gone by too fast...I can't even remember what life was like before you. You have changed me so much in two months, sweet boy. So much for the better. I knew you would change me, but I didn't realize what a dramatic, wonderful change that would be. You're laying across my lap right now, sound asleep with your little mouth hanging open. Your Daddy says that I sleep exactly the same way and it makes me smile to see how much you take after both of us. Even silly little things like the way we sleep is similar!

You have started giggling in the last couple weeks and it gets me every time! Your Daddy and I know just how to make you smile anymore and I can't get enough of it. You are so cute, little man! But that giggle...oh boy. I'm going to be in trouble when you get older. I can't resist those eyes or that giggle. I love the way your entire face lights up when you smile. I love that you find joy in high pitched voices, ceiling fans, and your Daddy blowing raspberries in your face. You are becoming more and more independent every day. You hold your head up very well - it never falls backwards anymore and most of the time you can catch it if it starts to fall forwards. You love sitting on my lap facing out so you can see everything. You are so curious and inquisitive about the world around you. I have a feeling you are going to be into everything when you get older so you can see how things work! If we put you up on our shoulder, you usually push away so you can look around.

The past week has been really hard on me. I had to go back to work to finish up the school year and I have missed you so much. I get home and I just stare at you and try to soak you in. Your smell, your perfect, tiny nose, your adorable lips, your bright blue eyes. I don't get nearly enough of you when I'm gone all day. I am so thankful that God has given me the opportunity to stay home with you while you're little...I can't imagine having to leave you every day!

You're probably weighing in close to 12 1/2 pounds now...when did you get so big? You've moved into size two diapers and are fitting solidly into 0-3 month clothes. I doubt you'll fit in most of them for too much longer. I'm trying to savor each of your precious tiny outfits because I know that I might not ever get to see you wearing them again. You love to nurse with one arm up by your head. You have perfected the pouty face and can pull the corners of your lips down more than I ever thought possible! (That face gets me every time too!) You're consistently sleeping through the night, usually 7 or 8 hours at a time. You still hate your carseat and scream like there's no tomorrow every time you get in it. You love bathtime, being swaddled in the Miracle blanket, the Moby Wrap, your paci, and being outside. In the past few weeks you've started to reach and grab for things...and anytime you do manage to get ahold of something, it goes straight for your mouth! You love laying on your changing table and talking to your Mommy and Daddy.

I hope you know how much you are loved, Will. I didn't know my heart was capable of such powerful emotions. I usually am not the type of person who is lost for words, but when I try to express my intense love for you, words fail me. All I know to say is my cup runneth over. I have more joy and love than I ever thought to ask for. My life is overflowing...and I love it. I love you :)

God has blessed us so richly with you, Will!

Love,
Mommy

This is hard.

I am definitely not cut out to be a working mom. It's all I can do to focus during the day and get stuff done...I miss my little boy SO much! Today was worse than yesterday and even though I tried to keep myself busy by starting to pack up my classroom while my kids were working, there just wasn't enough to do!

One of my co-workers asked me today if I was going to miss teaching...I will miss it. A lot, actually! But there is nothing in the world worth more to me than being there for Will. My mom used to tell me that she told my dad she'd "eat beans out of a can for the rest of her life" as long as she could stay home with my brother and me. And I can totally relate now. I'd live in an apartment, with no cable, and eat bean burritos forever as long as I could be with him during the day. I'm so, so thankful I only have six more days of school left. Because it seems like I've been working for two weeks, not just two days.

I think it's been hard on Will too...not just me. My aunt told me that he slept all day today, which isn't really like him. He's sleeping on me right now too and hasn't really woken up since I got home at 4. I'm trying hard not to worry about him (easier said than done!) and keep telling myself that this is an adjustment for him too...he needs his Mommy as much as I need him! He cried this morning when I left, which made me feel awful. I know he doesn't know that I'm leaving him, but the timing worked out just to where he started crying when I gave him a kiss and told him goodbye. It broke my heart! I'm so thankful my aunt is staying with him - I would be a MESS if I didn't love and trust the person taking care of him!

Tomorrow is Thursday, thank goodness...2 more days until the weekend!

Long Week

I can't believe it was only last Thursday that I posted last...it's been a long six days! I've got lots to post and lots of pictures. All taken with my point and shoot camera - so glad I have that to capture the everyday stuff! Let's see, where to begin.

Last Thursday we had the final walk-through on our house. Everything looked great, but Will was super fussy the entire time. Not to mention the fact that he screamed bloody murder the entire 15 minute drive over to the house. SCREAMED. I've never heard him like that before - it was awful! When we got there, my mom took him and he still wouldn't really calm down. He didn't want a bottle, he didn't want his paci. We went to dinner and this continued. When we got home (lots of screaming and fussing on the way) I took his temperature because it was so unlike him to cry like that. It was 99.9. Since he'd been crying so hard, I decided to give him a bath and see if he'd calm down some. He did, so after he was all dried off, I took it again. It'd gone up to 100.4...our pediatrician had said we needed to call for anything above 100.4 and this was right at it, so I called. Since he was so little, they wanted us to be seen right away, but of course, it was 8:30 by that time...so we had to go to the ER.

We arrived at S&W and were taken back to an exam room. They took his temp (it had gone down some...I think it was around 99?), checked his heartrate and oxygen levels. His oxygen and heartrate were a little off. We waited around and finally some nurses came in and did a catheter to take urine. We waited around some more, they came back in and did a chest x-ray. They never once listened to his chest and I never mentioned coughing or wheezing, but apparently a chest x-ray was necessary.(I got kicked out of the room, but Greg got to stay). We did some more waiting before FINALLY seeing the on-call doctor. This was around 12am. She wanted to draw blood and do a spinal tap. I declined the spinal tap and she went to get a second opinion on everything. She came back around 1 and said that as long as we followed up with our pediatrician in the morning we didn't have to do the spinal, but they did need to draw blood. Fine, whatever. (Can you tell I was kind of ticked off at the hospital at this point?) The blood draw was probably one of the most traumatic things I've experienced in awhile - same for Will. They blew out his vein and he screamed :( I hated not being able to comfort him! Finally around 2am we were sent home with strict instructions to follow up with the pediatrician in the morning. All three of us were beyond exhausted.

The next morning we followed up at the pediatricians. His fever had gone back up to 100.4. We talked a lot and Dr. Travis said that he figured it was probably viral. We decided to watch him closely for the weekend and wait for the cultures on the blood and urine to come back from Scott & White.

I came home after the pediatrician's, Will ate, and then took a long nap on our bed. Poor thing was so tired from all the poking and prodding :( My mom came over around 12:30 to watch him because I had to go close on our house! In all the craziness of the night before, closing had kind of lost the exciting-ness that it had held before the ER visit. But it was great to sign all those papers and realize that the house was finally ours!

The weekend held lots of running around shopping for appliances, paint, and furniture. Everyone was having GREAT deals because it was Memorial Day weekend so we got a fridge and a microwave for an awesome price and got all our paint for $5 off a gallon! We decided to wait on furniture, even though we found a bedroom set and a dining set at Ashley that we absolutely loved...we'll save up and get it soon :)

Sunday night we had dinner at my parent's house. Yummy grilled chicken and shrimp (thanks Matt!) and then Monday my Aunt Gena flew in from Albuquerque so she could watch Will this week...Today was my first day back at work and it was hard. I was alright as long as I was busy - recess, lunch, planning, and all those little in between moments where I didn't have a lot going on were really tough for me. I missed him like crazy and my heart ached to be home cuddling with him, nursing him instead of pumping, and watching his cute little smiles. The only thing that got me through the day was repeating to myself "seven more days." I'll be honest, though...seven days seems like a LONG time to me right now. :( Will has been nursing non-stop since I got home, which in a weird way makes me feel good. I feel bad for Greg though - he doesn't want to leave his Mama at all!

I'll try to post another update later this week, but it's going to be hard with teaching and all...Seven more days :)

We're About to be Homeowners!

We close on our house on Friday and I am SO excited! We found exactly what we were wanting in an awesome neighborhood for a great price...I can't wait to paint, arrange all our furniture, and watch Will grow up there :)

I'll have more pictures to come in the next few weeks. It's getting a new roof today, then we do the walk-through tomorrow after Greg gets off work, and then we're closing at 2:00 on Friday!

I'm super excited for Friday to come because of the closing...but I'm also dreading it because it's my last weekday off of work :( I know I only have to go back for 8 school days, but I am not happy about leaving Will. It doesn't make it any better that I'm not going into a great situation at school and I have no clue what state my classroom or kids will be in...things have been incredibly "inconsistent" (their words) since I've been out on maternity leave. I have a feeling I'm going to come back to a group of 90 terrors. I worked so hard to get them trained and on their best behavior before I left and I'm pretty sure they're going to make me want to pull my hair out again. Eight days...I can do it for eight days!

Will has been sleeping so well at night...which makes for a much happier Mommy! We generally get him down around 10 and he slept until 5 last night...that's 7 whole hours! I woke up and actually felt okay. I mean, I was still tired, but I wasn't falling asleep nursing him! He usually won't sleep for more than an hour and a half more after he gets up to nurse, so I just leave him in the bed with us and snuggle with him. I get some of the best smiles at that time :) He seems just thrilled that he doesn't have to go back into his stupid bassinet and that he can cuddle with Mommy. It makes my heart melt! :)

7 Weeks

My baby is getting so big! He's seven weeks old today...seven weeks sounds so old, so grown up, more baby and not newborn. But it still seems like yesterday that I was meeting him for the first time. (Are you sick of me saying that yet?! haha!)

Today was my first day to be away from Will for a long time. I had a wedding from 10:30-4 today and while I had a ton of fun shooting, I missed him so much! Will and Greg had tons of fun hanging out at home, though. He napped forever with him...I think Greg is going to stop believing me when i tell him that Will is usually a terrible napper ;) They slept from like 11-1:30! I'm glad they got to hang out all day and get some bonding time in!

Will has been changing so much. He smiles at us pretty regularly now. I LOVE his little grin. So, so precious. The other night he woke up at 5:30am and I was feeding him and he pulled away and gave me the hugest, gummiest grin ever. And even though I know you're not supposed to talk or have much interaction with them in the middle of the night (since we're trying to promote the whole sleeping at night thing), I couldn't help but grin back. We sat there for a good five minutes smiling at each other...It is something I won't ever forget! He's also begun "talking" to us a lot more. He's still pretty quiet, though. He likes to study things and take every single detail in. And just this week, he started rolling up onto his side for a second or two at a time. I don't think it'll be much longer before he rolls from tummy to back - he's getting really close! I didn't want to mention it before, but he's consistently been sleeping for 6 hours a night! If we get him in bed by 9, he sleeps until 3. Usually though, bedtime is closer to 11 (have I mentioned how everything takes twice as long with a baby around?) and he doesn't get up again until 5. I'm feeling so much more rested and less sleep deprived these days...it's wonderful!

The photography stuff is going really well...I've had lots of inquiries and people who have said they want to book a session with me. Keep the prayers coming - I'm so excited about how everything is playing out :)

Here are some pictures of Will from this week. Remember the bear picture from his first day home? Check out how much he's grown! (By the way, he almost has grown out of his coming home outfit...*sad Mommy face here*)


Playtime on his mat


...not so sure how he's feeling about playtime anymore.


He's done!


But mean 'ol Mom keeps taking pictures anyway!


Mom, what is this bear doing in the chair next to me?


Mom, this bear is totally crowding me!


Seriously, Mom. Get him off!

Lessons Learned + The Big Reveal

Tonight, I learned hard lesson #1 as a mom. What's best for them is not always what they want. Will has been on a nap strike lately. He'll get up at 7 or 8 and then be awake for the rest of the day. This creates the perfect situation for an incredibly unhappy, fussy, over-tired baby. So by the time 6:00 rolls around and Greg gets home, I've had it up to my eyeballs with the crying and the soothing and I just need a few minutes to get away by myself.

Yesterday I had my 6-week postpartum check and I was okayed to resume exercise. I've still got some baby weight left to lose and I've been SO ready to get active again. I really wasn't able to exercise from my second trimester on...so that's like 5 months of pregnancy + almost 2 months of post-pregnancy that I haven't worked out. Towards the end of my pregnancy, running again was something I seriously was looking forward to - I would get incredibly jealous of women I saw running on the street. So you can understand how much I was looking forward to being cleared for exercise.

Back to the story. So, today, Greg gets home and Will hasn't slept for more than 15 or 20 minutes all day. He's fussy. And all he wants to do is comfort nurse because it helps him fall asleep. But I needed to work out. I needed to work out for my sanity, but I also needed to work out for him. I passed a semi-sleeping baby off to Greg and promptly had a screaming baby. He was giving me these "how dare you leave me" looks that broke my heart, but I hurried into the office and started the workout DVD. I could hear him crying off and on through the entire thing. Try as he may to comfort him, Greg just doesn't have boobs ;) And that's all Will wanted! I wanted to stop so bad and go comfort him, but I had to keep telling myself that me losing the rest of the baby weight is what is best for Will. I can't stay overweight and inactive because of HIM. I want to teach him a healthy lifestyle - how to eat right, how to learn to love exercising, and how to stay fit for life. I never want him to have to struggle with his weight. And that starts right now, with me losing the weight that I put on during pregnancy and getting back into shape. He hated it - HATED it. But I had to keep telling myself that I was doing what was best for him, even though he wasn't too happy about that fact.

In the end, I got a great workout (two thumbs up for the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred...it kicked my butt!) and Will eventually calmed down and fell asleep. And the same thing will probably happen again tomorrow - but we're both going to be better for it.

And now for the "big reveal" that I was talking about in my last blog post...Libby Ann Photograhpy is up and running! I purchased a website last week, worked on it hard over the weekend (further adding to my sleep deprivation) and it went live yesterday. I'm so excited to have it finished - I'm one step closer to staying home with Will. Anyways, I'm running a special for the rest of the summer. Anyone who books a session in May or June (that will take place before September 1st) will receive 15% off the session fee, their print order, and a free 8x10 from the session. Feel free to pass this on to family and friends - all they need to do to redeem the special is ask about the Summer Special. Please be praying for me in this photography venture. Pray that God will bring business in, that I will get great clients, and really be able to jump start my business this summer. Anyways, here is the site!

http://www.libbyannphotography.com

Secret Smiles and Tub Baths

Will is having a fussy day today. It's almost like he's going through another growth spurt...although I know that can't possibly be right since he had one just a week or two ago! But he's wanted to eat nonstop today...Greg got home and he nursed all evening long. We had a really fussy stretch before he finally passed out from exhaustion. I hated to wake him up a couple hours later, but he needed a bath. To make it better for him, I decided to give him a bath in our tub (instead of the sink) and get in there with him. He loved it! We soaked for awhile before he pooped in the tub and everything had to be drained, rinsed, and scrubbed down before we could finish the bath. I think he's going to be a little water baby - he really enjoys floating (with help, of course!) in the water.

He's started giving us secret little smiles too. He rewards my mom with huge grins all the time, but he has yet to do that for Greg or me. We must be boring or something ;) But when we get him in a really good mood where he's not studying every detail of the room, we can sometimes coax a smile out of him...and that gummy little grin makes my heart melt! He was eating today and pulled away, looked me in the eyes, and grinned. I have no idea why or what I did to deserve it, but it was precious! He's started rolling up onto his side during tummy time...it won't be too long before he rolls from tummy to back, I think. He only does it when he's really frustrated and about ready to be finished with tummy time ;)

Tomorrow I go in for my 6-week post-partum appointment at my OB/GYNs office. Hopefully everything has healed the way it should and I can start really exercising again. I can't wait! I'm so ready to lose the rest of the baby weight and get my body back in shape. It's been a good five or six months since I've really been able to work out and I miss it a lot. I've got some big news coming in the next couple of days...I've just got to get a few more things together before the big reveal. I'm super excited about it, though!

Hopefully I can catch a smile on camera soon and share it with you all!

Catching Up

Last Friday, Greg and I had our first "date night." My parents watched Will and we went to see Wolverine at the movie theater. We had a really good time, but man, it was weird being away from him! I missed him so much, even though I knew he was being loved and well taken care of with my mom and dad. I told Greg it was a good thing we were at a movie where I could focus my attention on something other than how much I missed my baby. I have two more weeks left of my maternity leave before I have to return to school to finish up the last 8 days of the year. Can I just say right now how much I'm dreading this? My Aunt is coming to stay with Will for part of the time and I'm SO excited to see her and so glad that she's staying with Will...but there is not anything in this world that could make me want to go back to work for those 8 days. Sigh...I'm going to be a mess, I can already tell! It just makes me even more thankful that I'm going to get to stay home with him :)

Then on Saturday, we headed out to the Round Rock Amphitheater to see our good friend Justin and his band, The Justin Cofield Band, play a benefit concert. We got to see a ton of people from our old church and we had SO much fun! It was the first time that Will had been outside for any significant amount of time and he loved it. He was so alert all night. He also loved the music. My mom was holding him and she said she could feel his chest vibrating as he "sang" along...I'm not sure he was really singing, but I do know that he enjoyed it! ;) I think he's going to be our music baby - he's loved music ever since he was in my tummy. At one point during the concert, he started to get a little bit fussy. But when Justin and the guys started playing again, he hushed up right away! I got asked two questions over and over by our friends that we saw there...the first was if I was breastfeeding and how it was going (yes I am, and it's going really well!) and the second was if I was going to be returning to work. Every time I said that I wasn't going to be, I got told what an awesome decision that was and that God was going to bless us for that. It really makes me feel good to know how much other believers value investing in your family. I know that we'll have people praying for us and I know that God will take care of us. We may not have all the toys and material things that others have (and that at times we may want), but we will always be fed, clothed, and loved. And in the end, that's all that matters. After the concert we bathed Will, I fed him, and then he was out for the count! He slept for 6 1/2 hours straight...it was amazing! He hasn't repeated that performance since then, but it does give me hope that one day the kid will learn how to sleep longer than 3 hours at a time! :)

Will has been going through a growth spurt the past few days. He's been eating non-stop - literally every hour to hour and a half pretty much around the clock. It's been an exhausting few days, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Supposedly after growth spurts end, they're followed by lots of sleeping...we'll see! He's outgrown several of his newborn outfits now (I think only one or two still fit him) and is fitting in 0-3 month stuff pretty solidly. I have a feeling that he's not going to fit in 0-3 month clothing for another month and a half! He's also losing a LOT of his hair...and it's being replaced by hair that's a lot lighter. I'm not sure I'd call it blonde, but it's definitely not as dark as we thought it was. His eyes are lightening up every day and I really, really hope they stay blue. They're such a pretty shade! He's been off his reflux medicine since Friday and I can definitely tell a difference in him, at nighttime especially.

So all is well in the Johnson household. I can't believe my baby will be six weeks old on Saturday!

Pictures

I have a lot to post about, but I need to give Will his bath and get in bed...so until tomorrow, here are a few pictures from the weekend!